How to Record Your Mum or Dad's Life Story (Before You Wish You Had)

Most of us assume there will be time. Time to ask Dad about his first job, or to hear Mum tell the story of how they met, one more time. Then one day there isn't.

The good news is that recording a parent's life story is far easier than most people think. You don't need a book, a writer or a film crew. You need a phone, some good questions and a little patience. Here's how to do it well.

Why record their voice, not just their words

Written memoirs are lovely, but they lose something. A voice carries the laugh before the punchline, the pause before a hard memory, and the way your grandmother said your name. Years from now, that is the part families treasure most.

Recording also suits most older storytellers better than writing. Talking is natural. Filling in a memory book is homework, and many of those books sit half-finished on a shelf.

Step 1: Choose your approach

There are three common ways to do it:

• Sit down together with a phone. Free and personal, but it depends on you both finding time, and it's easy to put off.
• Buy a memory journal. A nice idea, but it relies on your parent writing, and most never get past the first few pages.
• Use a guided recording service. Your parent receives one question at a time and records their answer whenever suits them. This is what StoryWave does.

Step 2: Pick questions that open doors

The best questions ask for a story, not a fact. "Where did you grow up?" gets a place name. "What did a Saturday look like when you were ten?" gets a story.

Start easy, with childhood, school and family, and save the bigger questions about regrets, lessons and hopes for later. People open up once they are warmed up.

Step 3: Make it easy for them

• Let them record at their own pace. One question a day is plenty.
• Choose a quiet room and hold the phone about 30 cm away.
• Tell them there are no wrong answers and that they can re-record anything.
• Don't correct the facts. The way they remember it is part of the story.

Step 4: If they're not tech-savvy

This is the most common worry, and it's usually smaller than it seems. If your parent can open an email and tap a button, they can record a story. If not, a grandchild or neighbour can help them with the first question, after which most people are away.

Step 5: Keep it safe and share it

Once the stories are recorded, download them and keep copies in more than one place: a computer, a cloud drive, and a USB stick in the family drawer. Then share them. Play one at the next family gathering. Send one to the cousins overseas.

Start before it feels urgent

The families who are gladdest they did this are the ones who started while it was still easy. Your parent doesn't need to be unwell for their story to matter. It matters now.